Chapter 5
The Wounded Self
By Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D.

Click Here to Return to
the Table of Contents

The Wounded Self

The Wounded Self is the part of you that has experienced emotional, physical, sexual, and/or spiritual trauma in your life. The source of the trauma could be: 1.) emotional, physical, sexual, and /or spiritual abandonment, neglect, rejection, or abuse;   2.) emotional impoverishment: unfulfilled dependency needs; 3.) demands by others for emotional intimacy, engulfment, smothered, suffocated; 4.) shaming experiences; 5.) isolation: cast aside, treated as if unwanted.

One way that your Wounded Self is activated is when you superimpose the past on your present moment circumstances. This happens because you are: 1.) experiencing the present moment as mirroring traumas from your past; 2.) experiencing the present moment as mirroring threatening circumstances from your past; 3.) experiencing the present moment as mirroring deprivations from your past.

The activation of your Wounded Self enables you to protect yourself by relying on archaic avoidance strategies. However, the price you pay for being protected by your Wounded Self’s avoidance strategies is that you: 1.) disconnect from your Self; 2.) disconnect from the people in your life; 3.) disconnect from your Higher Power; 4.) regress to a younger part of who you are whose coping skills are limited and minimally effective; 5.) cope with your present moment circumstances with conditioned reactions that are usually rigid, inflexible, and self-defeating.

This cycle of activation of your Wounded Self 1.) perpetuates the life cycle of the Wounded Self; 2.) freezes your emotional and spiritual development in the past; 3.) prevents you from healing and resolving the wounds from your past; 4.) adversely impacts your present moment life; 5.) prohibits you from being spontaneous; 6.) robs you of your free will. 

Many of your character defects are merely wounded fragments of your Self. An important aspect of spiritually transforming the relationship you have with your character defects is being able to heal your Wounded Self. This means you must be able to: 1.) [re]experience the emotions of the Wounded Self; 2.) [re]write the story of the Wounded Self; 3.) [re]parent the Wounded Self; 4.) forgive the tormentors of the Wounded Self.

That process will begin to unfold for you as you [re]connect with your supporting cast members and learn how to utilize the healing energy of your supporting cast members.

The Wounded Self

G.B.U.

Steve

Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Chicago, Illinois and Northfield, Illinois. You can contact Dr. Frisch, Psy.D. at drfrisch@aliveandwellnews.com  or at (847) 604-3290. Recover from chemical dependency and its toxic impact on family members. Raise your children to choose to be alcohol and other drugs free. Learn how to in Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D. Recovery book series.