Chapter 5
Intolerant Self
By Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D.

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The Intolerant Self

The Intolerant Self is the part of you who judges unmercifully you and the people in your life. The Intolerant Self has high expectations for how you and others should feel, think, and act. As high as those expectations may be, the Intolerant Self is always laying in wait, forever expecting to be disappointed, let down, and/or betrayed. When the inevitable disappointment takes place, whenever somebody fails to meet the expectations that the Intolerant Self maintains, bam, the Intolerant Self springs into action against the offending party(ies), collecting data, preserving evidence, building a case. Not only is she an excellent gatherer of evidence and builder of a case, she’s equally adept at serving as prosecutor, judge and jury all rolled into one.

Besides feeling let down or betrayed by somebody else, the Intolerant Self is equally provoked by the emotional needs of your Self and others, perceived weakness(es) of your Self and others, and experienced differences that may exist between you and another person. As you begin to [re]claim the attitudes and feelings that the Intolerant Self possesses, you’ll begin to notice how stirred up you become by your perceived wrong doings of others.

The weapons of choice of the Intolerant Self are blame, shame, and judgment. You can rest assured that when you’re caught up in blaming, shaming, and judging, the Intolerant Self is fast at work, avenging some perceived wrong, expressing some disappointment in another, trying to tip the scales of justice back into your favor.

The Intolerant Self

Avenger
Better Than Others
Deficient
Executioner
Grandiose
Holier-than-Thou
Inadequate
Insufficient
Judger
Lame
Meek
Scapegoated
Self-Righteous
Unimportant

Alone
Apprehensive
Bitterness
Fear
Impatience
Intimidated
Intolerant
Picked-on
Singled-Out
Terrified
Threatened

Aggressive
Belittling
Bullying
Combative
Contemptuous
Contentious
Critical
Deprecating
Haughty
Humiliating
Impatient
Judgmental
Malignant
Moralizing
Narrow
Non-Empathetic
Place conditions
on others in order
to be in relationship
with them.
Prejudiced
Punitive
Rigid
Short-Tempered
Sour
Sharp

Amused by Others.
Disappointed in Others.
Intolerant of Other’s
Differences from Self.
Judgmental of Others.
Others are Different Than Self.
Others are Less Than Self.

The World is a dangerous place.
The World is Full of Dangerous people.
Everyone Should Act, Think, and
Feel Like Me.
People pick on me.

Experiencing Others as Different
Feeling Betrayed by Others
Feeling in Competition With Others
Feeling in Fear of Others
Feeling Disappointed by Others
Feeling Dominated by Others
Feeling Inferior to Others
Feeling Judged by Others
Feeling Threatened by Others
Feeling Wronged by Others
When Their Wants and Expectations
Go Unfulfilled

 N/A

N/A

Agitated
Aggression
Distraught
Frightened
Suspicious

N/A

G.B.U.

Steve

Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Chicago, Illinois and Northfield, Illinois. You can contact Dr. Frisch, Psy.D. at drfrisch@aliveandwellnews.com  or at (847) 604-3290. Recover from chemical dependency and its toxic impact on family members. Raise your children to choose to be alcohol and other drugs free. Learn how to in Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D. Recovery book series.